Torn defenses
Written by fabee_babeeI stand in a morbid pose,
dressed in the oppression of black,
holding back the burning tears
and the power of a scream.
Hands at my sides, keeping a constant rythmic beat.
cleanching and unclenching my fists.
How my body spasms with the want
to lash out,
the want to release all this uneasyness.
I fight to retain my composure,
I fight a struggling battle to remain
straight faced, prim and professional.
Throbbing intensity is punching my temples from within,
The sound of my rushing blood swims in my ears.
Why I am not self combusting from
the heat that rises from my chest
to my face astounds me.
The constant pull in my chest,
thats getting tighter and tighter
as the voice in my head reminds me to breathe.
With every reminder the weight grows
until my chest feels like it is in my stomach,
My throat constricts like I'm choking on a apple,
My wind pipe feels as if its fusing with my spine.
My struggle continues,
then it happens,
A single tear falls shattering all
composure, giving away all that
was hidden,
and I am left to wallow in self-pity and self-destruction.