Again, farewell
Written by dominikwgAgain, Farewell.
We just have parted with one last touch of hands.
We have said our good-byes with tears in our eyes,
Like we would not see each other forever.
I held on to you and did not release,
For I am nothing, a no one, without you.
The feel of you skin, the smell of you hair,
The warmth of body, and a smile so rare.
We just have parted, and we just have held hands.
Emptiness starts to cultivate, breed, and grow inside me,
While I still think about the touch of your hand,
The look of you eye, the sight of your smile.
We have parted just now, you and I.
“Good-bye, farwell…I miss you already.”
“I’ll see you in two weeks, I must take my leave.”
I greave as you depart from my sight.
But who gave me the right?
The right to have feelings so strong,
Wrong emotions, silent love-potions.
The right to cry on your shoulder,
Smolder your notions.
And who gave me right to try?
Cry for time lost,
Or to be jealous, act overzealous,
And hurt you.
We have parted, just now, and just now,
I am a changed man.
Lonely, discontent, with no intent,
For a life without your touch,
Where black cats in dark alleys sing their malicious tune.
I am but immune to love-lost,
For I lose it whenever you leave me.
DWGorecki
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Quick explanation...
The rhyming format does not follow any particular arrangement, but it should contribute to the depressing tone and rhythym. What ties the poem together to the main parting motif is the repition of "We just have parted." This creates, I believe a sense of unity through out the piece. The third stanza deviates from this particular format because it adds in a new subject, and complicates the theme. It is not just a poem about leaving and parting, but also about love--about losing love. Some symbolism is also used.
1st Stanza.
The theme of holding on to something when it is slipping away and the brief description of need.
2nd Stanza.
Lonliness/yearning is compared with bacteria (cultivation, breeding, and growing).
There is some dialogue between the protagonist who is also the narrator, and the person leaving. This might be a little less clear but there are some indications that the first person talking is actually the narrator: (a) the somber moood that the first line of dialogue is present. (b) the rhyme between I and Goodbye should tie the previous line with the current line together. The next line of dialogue strays from the entire mood of the poem so right away it is an indication that it is not the narrotor talking, but the only other person possible: the person leaving.
3rd Stanza
This stanza does not begin like the previous two and it is a form of complicating the main theme. Until one reads this stanza, we only know that one person is leaving, and that the narrator feels sombre about it. We also know that the person leaving does not feel as strongly, which is almost foreshadowing this very stanza. The first two lines of this stanza are meant to be ironic in some respect as one does not need a right to have feelings. But it also digs deeper at the root of the problem, as it might suggest the narrator should not have strong feelings for this person--that it might not be allowed for some reason or other. The entire stanza unterlines the first two lines and I realize I am writing way too much already, so I will not continue.
4th Stanza
This stanza brings the reader back into the main theme by repeating the parting motif in its first line. Further the next lines out line what was said in the first two stanzas (how the narrator feels). The 5th line of this stanza brings in more symbolism and imagery that point o lonliness. And the last two lines of the poem out line the 3rd stanza. This stanza wraps up the entire poem nice, I believe.
Ahh I dont know why I have gone over this poem in detail, but I think it's because I intentionally added so many different elements in so little time. I could have continued the analasys to an even deeper level, but its not necessary.
I have posted a previous poem called "Daddy where have you gone" but under a different username... Either way, its still Dominik Gorecki.
If you have any comments on my poem or the analasys, email dominikwg@home.com